Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Hostess Cupcake Case and Aging Hostess Cupcakes
Yesterday I went to serve some delicious Hostess Twinkies, a staple I always keep around here at Willis Wonderland, to a couple people I was having a meeting with. The subject of Twinkies came up and I thought I would impress them with the fact that I always kept a box of them around. I didn’t even panic when I saw none in the cupboard because I saw two boxes of Twinkies’ sister, Hostess cupcakes, sitting there. But to my horror, when I opened the box and ripped a package open the cupcakes looked like they had emerged from an archaeological dig.
I find it most curious that the icing color ages just like human hair does, color draining out of it.
The cupcake itself still looks pretty normal but upon squishing it breaks up like an old piece of Styrofoam.
The cream inside has taken on an almost marshmallow Fluff texture, though you’d need a pick ax to scrape any of it out.
This one cupcake managed to retain its chocolatey color in the frosting but look what was growing on the cake:
It’s beyond me how only one out of 48 cupcakes could have attained this degree of mold and held it’s deep brown frosting color. Perhaps someone on the assembly line had a gripe and poked a little something extra into this one special little cake….
But at least I could pull out my trusty Hostess cupcake case to show my guests what a real one should look like.
This case was the size Hostess cupcakes were back when I first started eating them as a youth. Like many other things in the universe, the real thing has shrunken over time.
1950′s/60′s Hostess cupcakes would have never fit in this container, made in 2001. Not the case with the shrunken head ones I just pulled out of the cupboard.
I guess Hostess cupcakes are meant to be gobbled up the second they’re procured from the store. I always stock up on these things for parties and then have hundreds of them left over. Either we’ve had an even hotter summer in LA then my brain cells are capable of registering and these things just went bad, or I bought them a lot longer than a few months ago and they just got lost somewhere in back of my cupboard. Which is not surprising given its eternal disheveled state:
I hate throwing out food but the cupcakes have definitely passed their prime. At least my Hostess cupcake case will be with me forever.
Categories: Consumer Alert!, Food, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day
Tags: Allee Willis, Hostess cupcake case, Hostess cupcakes, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day
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“Dis-shelve-d” – great description!
My dad used to love Hostess Cupcakes, and there would often be a box of them on top of the fridge at home, ostensibly to keep them out of our reach. But even once all us girls grew to be as tall as we are, that’s where they would be kept still! Tradition I guess
Go figure- I thought these things lasted forever- and that, after the nuclear apocolypse, it would all be cockroaches and Hostess products. I guess the cockroaches win.
Inside every Twinkie’s attic is an aging portrait of a Hostess Cupcake.
Didja know the squiggles are trademarked? You do now. Always seven.
Beware of imitations.
NEVER knew that!! I should trademark my hair.