Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘I Have No Idea What This Is’ Bag Or Something

Judging from the photo on the package I suppose this is some sort of little storage bag or purse or something but the only thing that I can tell from the labeling is that it’s “New” and its name is perilously close to the weight loss drug in the mid 90s that took a whole lotta people out.

Unless you can make sense of it also being “Nearby double seam, abrasive resistance” and that it “Prevents the washings to distort, tie the knot.” But it’s actually the last important point about the product that’s my favorite: “The good classification, the clean is clean”.

This mangled translation, of course, makes me love this product no matter what its use. Serious kitsch value is in leaving the package undisturbed and never knowing the true nature of the contents. And you won’t get help from the back of the package either:

This is what I LOVE about 99¢ and dollar stores. You would think for overstock product shipped from overseas that they would at least slap a label on that told you clearly what was inside. Though for a buck I guess they’re counting on the fact that if you can even guess what it is it’s such a bargain you’re gonna go home with it anyway. For me, it was enough to see psychedelically influenced flowers printed on shades of pink mesh that did it:

Because  it has a zipper I might put my money down on makeup pouch. Or perhaps a small storage bag. I did a search for the company name, Fenfang, but all I found was a Chinese restaurant in Cochin, wherever that is, and a Fen Fang, a praying mantis that’s eating a cricket, on YouTube. Neither one of these give me any clue as to what the mysterious mesh flower artifact is. Hmmm, maybe you stick something like nylons, which I haven’t worn in decades, in so they don’t tangle while drying quickly?

Ultimately, none of this matters as I’m way more attached to packaging that makes no sense than I am to having one more little case that can get lost in the bottom of my drawer only to have me discover it years later and re-gift it.


Categories: Accessories, Bad translations, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day

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8 Comments

  • Ginger says:

    Maybe a bag to wash delicate stuff in the laundry?

    • Allee says:

      That’s actually the best guess based on “Prevents the washings to distort, tie the knot.” I love stuff like this!

  • Ellie says:

    I was going to say the same thing as Ginger! This one is much cuter than my boring white one.

  • danetta says:

    Guessing at wording…

    “Easy access zipper, wear resistant
    Keeps your folded clothes in place with a secure knot
    An excellent product, your clean clothes stay clean!”

    My best guess -a laundry bag
    (anyone know a chinese speaker to read this?)

  • danetta says:

    ps- 60 cm is almost 24 inches

  • Howard says:

    Well, the item is made in China but is for the Japanese market and indeed, is something that you put your delicates in so you can wash them in the washing machine (I live in Japan and read Japanese so you can trust me!)

  • Allee says:

    And I was being so delicate with my delicates sans bag… Well, I can’t disturb the packaging so toss around at will they will still go!

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