Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1970’s “Disco Beat” Earring Holder

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One of my favorite genres of Kitsch is when objects are produced to take advantage of a massive trend in pop culture but actually have nothing at all to do with that trend.  My next favorite genre of Kitsch is when the products themselves are impractical for the use they were created to serve. This “Disco Beat” earring holder qualifies on both fronts! The bouncy,  clean cut 1950’s American Bandstand bobby-soxers would have never gotten into the 1970’s disco-beated Studio 54 and the zillion holes provided to dangle earrings from makes for too crowded of a surface to effectively hang more than a couple sets of earrings without them hanging over each other and coalescing into a tangled mess.  All of which makes for one hell of the fantastic Kitsch product!

I had my ears pierced when I was 16 but the pain was so excruciating I couldn’t get the image of a shaft of metal poking through flesh out of my head, reliving the experience every time I poked a cheap little gold wire through either hole. So I gave up after a few years and nothing has violated that area since. I did however have a great collection of  vintage earrings, none of which fit on the Disco Beat unless I had at least a half an hour to spend trying to disengage the earrings from the holes and each other.

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Categories: Accessories, Consumer Alert!, Dance, Disco, Forgot to Categorize, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Products

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Donny Osmond “Boogie Wonderland”, 1980

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Last night Donny Osmond bagged an almost perfect score doing the Cha-Cha to my song, “September”, on Dancing With The Stars. In his former life as an Osmond he and his brothers took on my follow-up Earth Wind & Fire hit, “Boogie Wonderland”. What makes the latter performance in Provo, Utah in 1980 kwalify as Kitsch isn’t so much that Donny’s singing is uncharacteristically off, flatter than an iceskating rink in spots, but that the lyric changes made to suit Mormon sensibilities are so odd:

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Categories: Boogie Wonderland, Dance, Disco, Earth Wind & Fire, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Religion

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Play Style Disco Rock Radio

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Anything that has Disco in the title is assured of shelf space at my place but the fact that the Pegtoy Corp. of Westport Connecticut calls this a “play style” means it gets a nice warm spot up front. With tiny little earplugs that might fit into the ears of an ant and a play cassette as thin as a communion wafer, this Disco Rock Radio has as much chance of actually emitting sound as a Pet Rock.

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Categories: Disco, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Memorabilia, Music, Products, Toy

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “No Hustling Allowed” Mirror

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Between Van McCoys’s huge 1975 hit, “The Hustle”, and the proliferation of that decade’s gay clubs and discos, especially in New York and LA, negative connotations of the word ‘hustle’ and its older sister ‘hustling’ melted away in a fog of polyester shirts and glitter eye shadow to become one of the most popular colloquialisms of the day. ‘No Hustling Allowed’ was printed on jean patches, underwear and, thankfully, this mirror as well as anything else that could be sold in a catalog, novelty or souvenir shop.

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Categories: Accessories, Bar accessory, Disco, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – PARTY VIDEO! Me, Earth Wind Fire and Luenell at the opening of The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch!

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It was the 21st night of September, the opening line of my very first hit song as well as the date of the grand opening party celebrating the launch of awmok.com, my mini social network and ongoing museum exhibit of all things Kitsch. I am SO NOT the songwriter type to get up at a party and perform but this was the night that tradition broke. As it was a special night in my musical history as well as a night to celebrate kitsch I decided to let anyone who wanted to sing sing bad karaoke versions of September.I also brought a bunch of cheap, thrift shop instruments with me – a knockoff Beatles Apollo bass with three strings, a 1981 Casio keyboard with 2 1/2 octaves and a missing middle C. key – just in case any of the famous musicians in attendance might want to play along my style.
As any of you familiar with me know, I’m a massive fan of smooshing together very high and very low elements of art that most people would create, perform or perpetuate in very different spaces and times. I live for moments where the incredible thinking, technology and execution at the top collide with the passion and dedication (and not necessarily talent) at the bottom. 
Moments like these have allowed me to see some of my Greatest Hits performed by the best and the worst at once. Like when my discoveries, the Del Rubio Triplets, octogenarian identical triplets in miniskirts and go-go boots and of questionable musical prowess, performed “Neutron Dance” with The Pointer Sisters the very week the record was in the Top 10. I’m elated to report that the 21st night of September a couple of weeks ago was an opportunity for another such performance. 
In walks Larry Dunn, original Earth Wind & Fire keyboard player extraordinaire who played on every single significant EWF hit, and Verdine White, cofounding member who’s still in EWF, greatest bass player who ever lived and the man who discovered me and brought me to the group back in 1978. And there’s Luenell, hysterical off-color comedienne who is literally the number one Earth Wind & Fire fan in the world. She carries their Greatest Hits CD with her wherever she goes and watches aEWF Collection DVD every day, swear to God. She’s been in love with Larry Dunn since she first caught sight of his perfectly carved Afro in the early 1970s. 
Here are three 6 minute videos documenting one of the best times I’ve ever had in my life at a party. Part 1 is a set up, where Luenell meets her idols NI announced that anyone who has the balls to sing September with Earth Wind & Fire in the house is welcome to him. Part two is September and part 3 is Boogie Wonderland. I have video cameras going almost every minute of the day. It’s moments like they that would never translate unless you were there to see it that make me thankful I spend every dime I earn on tape, cameras and people to point them.
Last thing I’ll say here is to make sure and go to AWMoK.com, the reason everyone was here to celebrate and where so many people have gone to keep the party going

It was the 21st night of September, the opening line of my very first hit song as well as the date of the grand opening party at LA’s Ghettogloss celebrating the launch of AWMoK.com, The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch, my mini social network and ongoing exhibit of all things Kitsch. I am SO NOT the type to get up at a party and perform my own songs but this was the night that tradition broke.

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Categories: Afro, Art, Boogie Wonderland, Creativity, Disco, Earth Wind & Fire, Famous, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Musical Instruments, Party, Self expression, September, Songwriting, bad art

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – She’s even better at “Boogie Wonderland”!

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A couple of weeks ago I featured the world’s happiest gal dancing to my song “Neutron Dance”. Now, the Krown Princess of Kitsch Khoreography turns her attention to the sweeping horns and strings and theatrical chorus melody of another one of my most danced-to songs. Black leather against backlit drapes encourages an even more dramatic performance, made exceptionally special by how the dancer’s mouth moves aggressively though rarely quite mouthing the words. Other favorite aspects of the performance are the freeze poses and excellent recovery from a stumble in the first chorus. The moves in the instrumental are especially impressive. Kudos from the author to this Neutron Dancer in Boogie Wonderland!

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Categories: Boogie Wonderland, Dance, Disco, Earth Wind & Fire, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Neutron Dance, People, Self expression, empowerment

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Disco Dancer Keyring

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3″ round tortoise shell plastic keyring from 1979 with grooves like a vinyl record and raised gold Disco dancers whose silhouettes look more like they’re on their way to an Anne Murray concert than to Studio 54. The back has a glass mirror, long broken, that says “Hot To Trot”, as if that were a slogan of the late 70’s and not property of the Bobby Soxers three decades earlier. Manufactured by Bromac, which sounds more like a company that makes antacid than Disco products. All in all, everything misses the mark just enough to make this a Kitsch lover’s dream.

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Categories: Accessories, Dance, Disco, House, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Products

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Saturday Night Fever Bubblegum

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Really really nasty cheap packaging on this pack of gum and 6 “full color” movie cards put out by Paramount Pictures Corp in 1977. Six dark photos printed on incredibly flimsy barely card stock, the back of which looks to be a cut up overstock movie poster with nary a fact about John Travolta or the film printed anywhere. Boasting that the Super Bubble gum inside blows larger bubbles I doubt it very much as there’s only half a stick of gum included – not a even a full pancake of dextrose and corn syrup. Such a classic film is worthy of a finer chewing experience, altho the packaging catapults this to high Kitsch status.

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Categories: Clothes, Dance, Disco, Food, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Memorabilia, Music, Products

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Definitive Boogie Wonderland

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In what could easily turn into Kitsch O’ The Day’s Musical Monday because of all the insane versions of my songs on YouTube, this one by Pink Lady, a Japanese duo who had a short-lived but utterly fantastic cheese wheel of Kitsch tv show in the 1980’s, is way near the top of the heap.  The Oriental opening, bad lip-synching of the pink person on the right,  cheesy choreography, clear fascination with American dancers, glitzy costumes, dorky synth patches, bombastic arrangement and cheap set all add up to musical heaven in Boogie Wonderland.

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Categories: Boogie Wonderland, Dance, Disco, Earth Wind & Fire, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, People, Songwriting, bad art

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Disco Luggage

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Fits just enough polyester for the weekend. Very rare Disco collectible though I’ve managed to find 3 pieces over the years:  http://alleewillis.twi.bz/A. Still missing the big 21″ one and still looking…

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Categories: Disco, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Products, Travel

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