I was already onto more sophisticated teenage fare like Hullabaloo and Shindig by the time Green Acres, a hokey journey into the countryside by two rich city slickers, came on the air in 1968. But the hokier still theme song always stuck in my head so I was well aware of it. And there evidently was more to that theme song then there was magic glue or whatever it took for these “stay-on” clothes to stick to Eva Gabor/Lisa Douglas and Eddie Albert Jr./ Oliver Wendell Douglas (no garments for Arnold the pig) cuz they sho ain’t stickin anymore. Despite the directions, no amount of rubbing will get any of the 36 costumes that drop like dead flies as soon as you remove your hand to “stay-on”.
Everything in these Not So Magic Stay-On Dolls remains intact other than the plastic scissors and stand included in the original kit. Apparently those worked better than the clothes or they’d still be in the box today as only two costumes were cut out before the original owner apparently lost interest.
Green Acres spun out of the success of country bumpkin shows like The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction and ran on CBS from 1965 to 1971. Eva Gabor ran a lot longer with kitschifyingly wonderful products like this:
More “Stay-Ons”:
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This is a product worthy of an Oscar for Best Kitsch, a fake wood cardboard stand-up “plaque” that looks suspiciously like the piece of cardboard that comes with any cheap picture frame, stapled on, staples askew, emblazoned with a cheap gold embossed sticker with three imprints, none of which have anything to do with the Academy Awards other than a trophy atopped with a nude female athlete that kinda sorta is in that Oscar trophy pose.
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In the kountry of Kitsch, there’s no higher honor bestowed upon a President than that of being commemorated as a Chia Pet. Now Chia Obama joins Chia Washington and Chia Lincoln in achieving that honor.
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Not quite sure why no chair was provided for the female of the species as by the time this photo was taken for this vintage Hamm’s beer sign in the late ’70’s feminism had surely raised its voice loud enough to demand equality in seating arrangements. At least they’ve got a few beers to tip back this Valentine’s Day so her muscles won’t cramp in that position. Maybe one of her gifts to him is a pedicure. In addition to candy and flowers I hope one of his gifts to her is a nice, comfortable chair.
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One of my favorite genres of Kitsch is when objects are produced to take advantage of a massive trend in pop culture but actually have nothing at all to do with that trend. My next favorite genre of Kitsch is when the products themselves are impractical for the use they were created to serve. This “Disco Beat” earring holder qualifies on both fronts! The bouncy, clean cut 1950’s American Bandstand bobby-soxers would have never gotten into the 1970’s disco-beated Studio 54 and the zillion holes provided to dangle earrings from makes for too crowded of a surface to effectively hang more than a couple sets of earrings without them hanging over each other and coalescing into a tangled mess. All of which makes for one hell of the fantastic Kitsch product!
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There were many versions of this game based on the popular TV series pitting two two-people teams against each other to guess words based on clues given by one teammate to another. The original show starred Allen Ludden and ran from 1961-’67 for a total of 1555 episodes. There were almost that many versions of this game as newer versions of Password having been on TV through 2009. Each version added new words except for later anniversary versions where they got lazy and used words from previous sets.
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His autograph etched on the back, TV kingpin Ralph Edwards handed out these etched gold keychains as promotional swag from “This Is Your Life”, the TV behemoth he hosted from 1952 to ‘61. The show, precursor to current documentary faire such as “Biography”, featured surprise salutes to prominent show business luminaries, politicians, sports stars and the like. Edwards was one of the first TV personalities to produce his own show. Hence, the particularly fancy giveaways like this keychain.
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The next revolution in sucking power after the Flex-Straw was this product that I made my mother stockpile so I’d never have less than a month’s supply. Though chocolate and strawberry were my favorite flavors, the success of mixing the flavor with the liquid you were drinking depended on the sucking power of your cheek muscles as the granules or whatever it was inside – some people remember it as a chemically soaked felt strip – oftentimes clumped leaving one with no other choice but to rip the straw open and dab bits on your tongue as you drank. Whatever the contents, process or the amount of effort it took, I still enjoyed the personal power I felt over relieving myself of the tedium of milk.
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It just got freezing in LA. The skies are getting dark and gloomy, you need a heavy coat, it’s very un-LA like. The only thing that makes me feel okay about the cold invading the gorgeous, sunny west coast is that I get to wear my hats. I have a bunch of them that look like objects. This teapot cap keeps my head warm just like the real thing keeps the brewed stuff piping hot. I love this hat because it always stands up proud no matter what rains or snows on it. The only thing I don’t like is tea. Never could stand it, never will. I don’t care if it’s flavored, in ice cream, has 3 pounds of honey in it or what. When it comes to tea, this hat is as close to my mouth as it’ll ever get.
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The quintessential artifact in the oeuvre of Kitsch has got to be dice. Plastered on clothing, hanging from dashboard mirrors, modeled after in packaging, its presence coats the Pop Culture landscape like so much astroturf. This bottle of aftershave was manufactured in the 1960s by Bergél of Hollywood, a fancy brand that had leading men all over the world smelling fine as wine or whatever it was they were drinking once they slathered this stuff on.
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