Nice, big, fat story in the Times on me today + 12 photos. Thank you, Bob Morris, for seeking me out (no press agent involved here!) and writing such a heartfelt, spirited, and happily long piece. My house thanks you too (at least the part of it that made the photo)!
Because I spend about 80% of my day squinting at screens of various sizes and working by the glare of them at night, eyeglasses have been a permanent part of my face for years. This never bothered me as I view these artifacts as part of the self-expression arsenal, equal status if not more to any piece of clothing, shoe or hairstyle used to distinguish oneself in the world. As a consequence, only having one pair of glasses never worked for me.
I like to pick a precision match with whatever I have on, the same way that socks always matter but are given so little attention by most people.
And those are only my red/orange shades. I also like glass holders because I don’t want to take up half my life searching for a pair I’ve laid down without any thought to remembering where that is. So I have a variety of vintage eyeglass holders scattered around for easy pickings.
The phrase “Here They Are Looking At You” was apparently very popular among eyeglass holder manufacturers.
Another type of eyeglass holder lets the glasses swing from wherever you choose to pierce some fabric.
But I love the one I’ve featured today because the colors are so vibrant,…
… and it’s a travel souvenir,…
…and it looks very much like a shop project. Judging from the bottom, maybe the city of Niantic planned a little event where all the citizens took part in a night of sawing and gluing.
Over the weekend I had to go to LA Eyeworks, where I’ve gotten all my glasses since the early 1980s, to pick up a new prescription.
I went with Prudence Fenton, who also took some specs on a test run.
LA Eyeworks makes great frames for very distinctive faces.
And I collect eyeglass holders for very distinctive glasses, all of which are better to see my morning coffee with.
I never really got into The Smurfs. That shade of blue was definitely not my favorite color and I didn’t have the patience to learn the Smurf language. I also didn’t have the patience to study Hebrew for the couple of years I attended Hebrew school at Beth Aaron, right across the street from Mumford High in Detroit, so have no idea what this Smurf is saying.
The only thing that kept me going to Hebrew School for the two years of one afternoon a week after school I went was the candy truck in the parking lot where we boarded the bus. I was bad enough at languages that use English lettering but once it came to Hebrew (or Chinese or Arabic or anything else that wasn’t the straight 26 letters I was used to) my brain turned into a quivering Jell-O mold. I hope this Smurf is saying nice to go along with the flowers he’s offering.
If only he was holding a bottle of Mogen David.
I do love that he’s speaking in a language other than his native Dutch or adopted English. And I do hope he’s not saying anything anything offensive but, rather, something like “Have and happy Passover and please enjoy the matzoh.”.
At that point in history, the 1960s, no more swag had ever been created for an American Presidency than for the first couple of Camelot, John and Jackie Kennedy. I have much of it, including busts, porcelain plates, copper plates, ashtrays, keychains and the like. But most of that is buried away and I’m too lazy to dig it out on a holiday. Here’s one that’s handy of a porcelain plate using the exact same image as on the creamer but for a new chair:
Here’s another of the exact same plate I have where the Kennedys have been replaced by a camper:
Many people would argue the Kennedys have never been replaced as a Presidential couple.
As you can see, the plate as American presidency was made in Japan.
My creamer, however, was made in the good ol’ USA. Squint and you can see it:
Here’s an idea of how tall the Presidential creamer is:
May we all stand tall this President’s Day (and have as nice of hair as the Kennedy’s)!
I’m about to tool around LA today looking for more kitschy architecture that I may have missed in my 9 trillion similar such drives and, as all my drives start out, the first stop will be to hit the pumps for a full tank of gas. If only gas was still as cheap as it used to be I could be cruising up the coast of California in search of kitsch palaces instead of just hitting the neighborhood.
$3.54 for 13+ gallons brings it to 3.6¢ a gallon. That’s about the same inflation that’s hit the price of these S&P’s. Originally given away at the stations for free with the purchase of a full tank, they now can go for up to 100 bucks a pair depending on condition and whether the seller understands their value as a collectible. I got these for quarter in some junk shop when I moved to California in the late 70’s. Back then, I used to collect S&P’s like crazy. I rarely used any of them and obviously hadn’t used this one until today when I went to photograph it and pulled the bottom out, creating this pepper disaster.
I actually didn’t mind the spill as I still have a stuffed nose from the almost-but-not-really cold I had this week. Suffice it to say my nose is clear now. I know that most people don’t use salt and pepper shakers this way but I’m all for multifunction whenever possible.
I would kill to know when this pepper was first placed in the pump. In my fantasy as a vintage collector, I’d like to think that it was back at Alabam’s in Buffalo, Wyo.
I’ve never known a gas station to offer “Soup-Or-Service” before so I think that placement of the condiment in the pump at Alabam’s 60 years ago is a feasible supposition.
As I sprinkle (new) pepper on my scrambled eggs, I can only hope that my impending late morning drive produces visual treats as beautiful as these Phillips S&Ps.
This 1980’s plaster salute to love was a hot ticket item in Mexican swap meets in Southern California throughout the 80’s and 90’s. Although back then they were too cheesy for my just-out-of-the-gate budding love of kitsch which, although quite robust, still hadn’t crossed the line to full blown Camembert such as the love interpreted here. Thank God, I had the presence of mind to buy these Siamese lovers as lamps, plain sculptures, towels and any other material their love could be possibly be moulded or stamped upon.
The lamp lovers are very fit.
They look much more romantic backlit.
Her hair sweeps back and his sweeps forward, representing the push/pull magnetism of the universe.
With the lights on, the lovers look a little dusty in the chest area. This is why I hate this kind of matte finish on ceramics; all the imperfections show. Like in real life, leaving the lights on despite the fact you spent all day at a flea market and haven’t had a chance to shower yet.
Most of all, I love that my cat Niblet loves spending time with the lamp lovers.
May anyone reading this be glowing all day today. And remember, the real glow comes from within, so mate or no mate, I hope you wish yourself a very very VERY happy Valentines Day today!
I’m not sure what goes on in Dyersville, Iowa but I sure hope it’s not a factory that specializes in turning out coffee mugs as this is one of the most seriously ugly ones I’ve ever seen. And, trust me, as a purveyor of kitsch I’ve seen a lot of them. If this is truly “Where Dreams Come True”, I hope that at least one Dyersville citizen is dreaming about a new coffee mug design.
The trees are in relief so your fingers bump up and down as they rest on the cup. There’s a layer of nice green ones that are then mysteriously covered over by a layer of brown and dead looking ones. It actually looks like there was a more intricate design underneath but the bowel brown trees apparently appealed more to the artisan.
Okay, I just googled Dyersville and I think the mystery is solved! According to the Chamber of Commerce, Dyersville has a population of 4000 and is known as the Farm Toy Capital of the World. I would suggest the next run of mugs should feature miniature tractors and the like but that will never happen because of this: “Dyersville is also the home of the Academy Award nominated film, Field of Dreams.” Which explains the over-forestation on the coffee mug. Though I believe that a field consists of a patch of cleared land. Next time I hope someone mows the mugs before they hit the shelves.
In my youth, Sundays were always for relaxing. But as the years have stretched on, all too many days of rest have turned into days I push pedal to the metal and try to jam in anything I can before the week’s normal downpour of work befalls me. As you can imagine, a nice steaming cup of coffee to start off the day can make it all seem somewhat more civilized. Though not every Sunday…
I’m actually down to 1-3 cups of decaf a day from the 20-30 caffeinated ones I used to throw back when I first started to write songs. In the 70’s, the coffee machine and Pong were the only social breaks for a working musician with a permanent reservation in a recording studio.
These days, I usually pour a cup as soon as I wake up. Then I sit down at my computer and go through an average 100 emails, curate and post at least ten new artifacts submitted to my social network, The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch, not to mention dealing with two Facebook pages, a Tweet, feeding three cats, getting my assistant up to speed for the day’s tasks, and returning any phone calls to people still living in the Stone Age who don’t email or text, none of which accounts for the songwriting, art, video, animation or other duties that constitute what my real work is that I need to prep for each morning. All of which gets me to the bottom of an average cup of decaf before I’m a tenth of the way through. Which is why this triple size stack is the answer to my prayers.
Also, for someone as lazy as me when it comes to exercise, saving the ten steps from my main computer to the kitchen for a refill is to be considered.
I also like looking sharp while sipping.
Wishing you love, peace, soul, and a very Merry hot chocolate Christmas!
99¢ and discount stores in general are fabulous all year round but there’s no question that the season they shine most at is Christmas, when all stops are pulled out and the shelves are packed with more crap than even a kitsch loving aKitschionado such as myself can absorb. These stores at this season offer the perfect storm of circumstances for me, especially as I needed some Christmas arts and crafts supplies to make Pigmy Will Christmas ornaments.
So I got my head together to stand in line as these severe discount stores are the kind of places where there are five or six cash registers but only one or two staffed at a time. But despite the long lines and shelves stuffed with misplaced items because people change their minds on the go and stick things anywhere, it’s always a delight to see what’s offered at this most special time of the year. Here are a few of the things that crossed my eyeballs within the first 10 minutes of walking into two such establishments in North Hollywood, CA.
This seems like an awful lot of plaster or whatever these things are made out for four little hooks:
This looks like it was made by someone who’d drunk too much Red Bull and was let loose in a crafts store:
This kind of kitsch scares me:
Could there be any more going on in this frame to take away from a photo?
I know that this Stocking Wave-Cap is impressive but what I want for Christmas is that foot shaped emery board next to it:
I’m buying everyone on my list a “snug and comfy” non-Snuggie-looks-just-like-a-Snuggy Fuzzy Wuzzy:
And maybe some Elvis in a can…:
I bought ten Elvises in a popcorn filled guitar.
Forget about the doggie Santa suits; I like that pink coat with the fur collar down in the bottom right corner:
I didn’t know that Barbra Streisand had her own line of beauty products:
If the best thing you can say about your pantyhose is that they are “Beautifully effective” I’m not even excited about them being Velvet.
As if there already wasn’t enough of this in the world, we don’t need more of it at a buck a pop:
And whoever buys this, please take me to your home and let me see what other supreme kitsch you have inside:
If you were kitschilousciously koncious this Christmas shopping season you could have everything on this page for under 100 clams. May you have a excellent 99¢++ Christmas!
