Allee Willis’ Kitsch ‘O The Day – Oscar-Winning LPs

 

And now, the  Oscar for Best Motion Picture…. goes to… The Artist!

As I hunkered  down to watch the Oscars yesterday, the first time I had ever watched it alone due to pressing deadlines on my end, I remembered the last time I sat down to watch a global event unfold on TV. It was when Carmageddon was predicted when the 405 freeway had to close for a day in LA last summer. I thought about it a few days before and decided to go through my vast collection of digital images of bad album covers and match them to the demolition/construction events as they occurred in real time. Last night, as soon as I saw Mila Jovovich be the first star to walk down the red carpet…

…I realized I could take the same approach to the Oscars as Carmageddon as the stars continued to arrive:

I pride myself on being a daredevil artist, ready to field any creative challenge thrown down in seconds. So as the Oscars were announced, I gave myself between the time the presenter walked on stage til the moment the winner was announced to scan through close to 5000 images and pick the appropriate stinker LP cover for each category. Here then are The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch Oscar winners, in the order I posted them but starting with the after party and  final award, and ending with the stars arriving earlier in the day:

Have fun at the after parties!:

Best Motion Picture:

Best Actress:

Best Actor:

Best Director:

Best Animated Film:

Best Original Screenplay:

Best Original Song:

Best Original Score:

The inevitable speech by the head of the Academy:

Best Supporting Actor:

Best Special Effects:

Best Sound Mixing:

Best Supporting Actress:

Best Foreign Film:

Best Makeup:

Best Costume Design:

Sasha Baron Cohen wasn’t the only one who arrived carrying something:

The actors are looking especially fabulous:

Fashions continue to astound:

The stars are in exquisite fashions:

Congratulations to all the Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch Oscar winners!

 

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Categories: Art, Awards, Celebrity, Cheesy LPs, Fashion, Film, Hollywood, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, LPs, Music, TV/Radio

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ItaliAnnette! Mousketeer Extraordinaire

italiannette2

An excellent sign of Kitsch is when names are bent and mutated to fit a purpose.  This one’s a perfect blend – The ever-Italian Mouseketeer, Annette, with the perfect name (and flip hairdo) to add that guaranteed-to-be-cheesy ‘ette’ onto the end of something to assure its kitschified status.

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Categories: Celebrity, Cheesy LPs, Fashion, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, LPs, Music

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch and “What Is Kitsch?” YouTube Film Festival coming today!

 

awmok-logo

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Categories: Architecture, Art, Awards, bad art, Cheesy LPs, Creativity, Gadgets, Games, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Memorabilia, Party, Technology

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘Jesus Use Me’ Hair Extravaganza LP

Jesus-use-me-LP

With the hairdo on the left looking like the perfect bundt cake, a bulldog in the middle and a bouffanted Jay Leno on the right, what Jesus used was The Faith Tones’ heads to perform some of the most astounding hair artistry in the history of Christian album covers, the Kentucky Derby of cheese championships in the 1960′s and 70′s.

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Categories: bad art, Cheesy LPs, Hair, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Religion

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Karatist Preacher” Deals God’s Power In One Mighty Blow

karatist-preacher-mike-crain-lp

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops styrofoam looking concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency. 
Called ‘the hard-headed preacher’ for his talent of breaking things like 1,950 pounds of ice using only his body, Crain is also famous for his “Human Sandwich of Death” feat in which he broke a 1,675 pound concrete slab with a 20-pound sledge hammer while laying between two beds of nails with the concrete on top. But the Karatist Preacher is perhaps best known for his samurai skills, sending Michael Jordan to the hospital for three stitches after his sword slipped while slicing a watermelon laying on Jordan’s stomach. No lie. 
In the ultimate master business plan Crain uses Kung-Fu and Karate to attract an audience to the church sponsoring him and then follows his martial arts demonstrations by preaching the Gospel that started with this amazing LP.

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency. 

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Categories: Cheesy LPs, empowerment, Forgot to Categorize, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, LPs, Music, Religion

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Beautiful Outfits For A Sunday Morning

christian-crusaders-lp-al-davis

Not sure what kills me most about this Christian Crusaders LP cover: The guys’ matching shirts, ties and Good Humor pants, how the spaghetti-thin flip-adorned female’s 70′s rug-like skirt misses the color scheme completely, the arrangement of flesh under the large guy’s pants, the twists and turns of his greased hair helmet and pork chop sideburns, the mystery of the exact size of the scrunched up guy on the ledge or that this religious LP features “The Monkey Song”. If the Christian Crusaders and Al Davis sound anywhere as good as they look we’re all in for a joyful noise!

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Categories: bad art, Cheesy LPs, Clothes, Hair, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, LPs, Music, Religion

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Geraldine & Ricky “Trees Talk Too!” LP

geraldine-ricky-trees-talk-too-lp

Long before I co-wrote the musical The Color Purple, in which trees are a powerful symbol, I believed these lumber providers were among nature’s most powerful species. But I never knew they could talk. Geraldine Murray, who claims God delivered her the gift of ventriloquism while she was asleep at age 14, apparently felt differently. Her wooden friend, Ricky’s, voice could make your ears bleed, perhaps causing the tree, well actually shrubs, they’re sitting in front of to creak loud enough for Geraldine to interpret it as speaking.

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Categories: Cheesy LPs, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, LPs, Music, Nature, Religion

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Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Long Before Susan Boyle There Was…

joyce-lp

JOYCE!  As a result of this 1983 Kitsch classic LP, Joyce may not have had the opportunities now presented to Ms. Boyle but she certainly had the look to permeate our hearts and remain there as long. I was lucky enough to find this cover (LP long gone) in 1983 at my favorite junkyard, The Champagne Of The Salvage Industry (real name), in Long Beach, CA. As that was the year of the LP’s release, perhaps the songstress and her songs, featuring “I Get All Excited”, weren’t quite as compelling as the cover. But like Susan Boyle, word of Joyce has spread virally over the years, especially after her inclusion in the 2004 book, The Worst Album Covers in the World. I pride myself among the lucky ones to own a piece of Joyce Drake of Sealy, Texas who, if she’s still around, I hope is sharpening her pipes for next year’s Idol auditions.

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Categories: Art, Cheesy LPs, Clothes, Kitsch, Kitsch O' The Day, Music, Self expression

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