In the kountry of Kitsch, there’s no higher honor bestowed upon a President than that of being commemorated as a Chia Pet. Now Chia Obama joins Chia Washington and Chia Lincoln in achieving that honor.
This Special Edition “Chia Obama” comes in two different moods, Chia Obama “Happy” and Chia Obama “Determined”.
Both come with with enough seed packets for three separate plantings with full growth expected in one to two weeks.
My hope on this President’s Day is that things like job creation, health care and other aspirations of Actual Obama get the watering and tender lovin’ care they deserve so they can achieve full growth too. Come on now and hail to the Ch-Ch-Ch- Chief!
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Seeing as the Lustrous Lipstick display was so popular yesterday I moved my vintage Ponds face cream up in KOTD status to grace the shelves at The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch today. Along with Jergens, Ponds ruled the middle class moisturizer market in the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s. Growing up, I don’t ever recall going into a friend’s house whose mom didn’t have a jar of this stashed next to the cotton balls.
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One of my favorite genres of Kitsch is when objects are produced to take advantage of a massive trend in pop culture but actually have nothing at all to do with that trend. My next favorite genre of Kitsch is when the products themselves are impractical for the use they were created to serve. This “Disco Beat” earring holder qualifies on both fronts! The bouncy, clean cut 1950’s American Bandstand bobby-soxers would have never gotten into the 1970’s disco-beated Studio 54 and the zillion holes provided to dangle earrings from makes for too crowded of a surface to effectively hang more than a couple sets of earrings without them hanging over each other and coalescing into a tangled mess. All of which makes for one hell of the fantastic Kitsch product!
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Made from 1954 – 1960, possession of a bottle of Max Factor Sophisti-Cat perfume was de rigueur for any little girl growing up in ’50’s and ’60’s. My kitty is brown with pink rhinestone eyes, a pearl choker and a white feather that constantly gets stuck to the cardboard covered velveteen, fake suede or whatever this little pussy is made out of.
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These eyeglass holders became all the rage in the 1950’s when fanciful designs transformed a lot of otherwise mundane looking products like eyeglasses and the receptacles they sat in into little gardens of kitsch. I always enjoy wearing glasses more when I pull them out of something like this.
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With 2010 only inches away I wouldn’t mind a little psychic vision as to what the coming year will hold. Would love a few more coins dropping in the pocket, a few more hits rolling out of the brain and a whole lot more kitsch kluttering up my life.
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Everybody knows that the holidays induce stress, especially this year with the economy still sitting out on the sidelines. So just in time comes the Stress Wiener, “the squeezable food to improve your mood”. If I were the gambling type, I’d lay odds that this was a repackaged dog toy that came from the factory minus a squeaker. Whatever the case, I’m squeezing it hard with only three days left til blast-off.
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It says a lot about the Atomic Age that America’s pre-Kennedy First Family, the Ricardo’s, hawked cigarettes for the holidays. Now we know why Lucy’s voice was lower than James Earl Jones’ as she progressed through the years most likely puffing on her lifetime supply of Phillip Morris.
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The next revolution in sucking power after the Flex-Straw was this product that I made my mother stockpile so I’d never have less than a month’s supply. Though chocolate and strawberry were my favorite flavors, the success of mixing the flavor with the liquid you were drinking depended on the sucking power of your cheek muscles as the granules or whatever it was inside – some people remember it as a chemically soaked felt strip – oftentimes clumped leaving one with no other choice but to rip the straw open and dab bits on your tongue as you drank. Whatever the contents, process or the amount of effort it took, I still enjoyed the personal power I felt over relieving myself of the tedium of milk.
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I can’t tell you how many Flex-straws I went through as a kid seeing how far I could bend them before the passage of liquid was no longer possible. Coming in “gay pastel colors”, I used to drink out of the salmon and pink ones and used the other colors to make necklaces, form the outline of a baseball field for my marbles and other such childhood crafts and frivolities.
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